Over the last couple of days, we have had all new doctors to transcribe from the Emergency Room to include a couple of foreigners, one that talks really low where to have to strain to hear him, and he slurs, too! just a major stressor and pain in the ass! All our familiar doctor's contract was up and this hospital contracted these new physicians. The one doctor gives everybody who comes through the door a genitourinary or pelvic exam, a rectal exam, and a psychiatric exam whether they just come into the ER for a foot sprain or what! He just says "use my normal template" and forgets to tell us to delete this out of the physical examination which would include those things not applicable such as the GU or pelvic exam, rectal and/or psychiatric part of "his normal"! I doubt that he did all those body part exams for a foot, don't you?

Anyway, today was the killer day! and I am kickin' back enjoying myself and thought I'd throw up a chat, too! Anybody for a martini? Make mine dirty!

ah, and while I'm at it, I'll listen to the Binky Griptite Show! and how was your Friday?

 

okay, just so you guys know, I am not in the running for Blogstream's Drama Queen or King Award 2007. The votes are pouring in, so cast yours! For details, see next post down!

and now ... what was I doing? oh yeah, tonight I was looking for a particular card for a friend of mine, and I came across tons of them, and these made me giggle! I did find some nice vintage cards, which I dearly love. I remember many years of handwriting notes with cards to family and friends, which may be a lost art now days and shouldn't be. Anyway, these cards are anything but vintage and they made me laugh so I thought I'd share a few!

▲ Gotta love this one, huh? Expresses my sentiments exactly!

hahaha!

 ▲ now this one is just darn cute, isn't it?

▲ anybody you know? and now comes my favorite~ LOL ▼

... Nope, he’s not really watching you, YOU’RE just stoned, remember?!!

However ~ Depending on your mental faculities, one or more of these songs MAY apply to YOU!

PARANOIA: Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me. (Like I'm scared!)

SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do You Hear What I Hear?

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY: We Three Kings Disoriented Are.

DEMENTIA: I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas. (Heck he's probably been upstairs for years and doesn't know he's been home all this time!)

NARCISSISTIC: Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About me, me, me of course!)

MANIA: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town...or Deck the Halls and Spare No Expense!

PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll tell you why. haha!

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell...(do I have to explain this?)

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY: Thoughts of Roasting in an Open Fire. (roasting Who on an open fire? Moi? I think not!! Now this one scares me! if you are having this thought, please bypass the mental hygiene hearing and commit yourself directly!)

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE: On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away). Wah!

If you feel an overcoming urge to sing these songs obsessively, or are experiencing any of these symptoms, or find this material offensive instead of humorous for which purpose it was intended, please take a taxi down to your local mental health facility!

Goodnight, bloggers! ♫ Do you hear what I hear? ♫ ! oops, there I go again! ♪ Fa-La-La-La-La, ♪ La-La-La Latkes! ♫

(if you'd like to purchase these notecards or any of their other stuff, click here.)

 

Hi gang! It’s time for a few more gift ideas. Here are my latest finds!

Cocktail Party Prep Kit

How to shine on the holiday party circuit:

Step 1: Read Cocktail Party Cheat Sheets and be the most interesting person at the soiree

Step 2: Dazzle the hostess with Cocktail Smarts - the perfect party gift!

Get both for 15% off and still a little pricy at $32.50!

Cocktail Prep Kit fail? or is otherwise too expensive? Are you still groping for something interesting to say? How about this? Instant Knowledge!

Instant Knowledge is a pocket- sized A-Z guide to all the facts and intellectual morsels you'll ever need to keep a conversation going. This handy compilation includes the best tidbits we’ve ever printed in our magazine’s four-year run, and it’s perfect for instant, on-the-go relief. Just flip to a page and apply the facts liberally. Of course, side-effects may include increased popularity and excessive grinning.

and what a great price at $7.95! it's cheaper than the cocktail prep too!

The above gifts can be purchased here.

And now a couple of naughtier finds~ Check out this~

the Adult Stocking Stuffer! Now, what lover wouldn't love this, huh? 

The stocking contains a little vibrating surprise: a 4 inch vibe. As well it has an adult mistletoe, a glow-in-the-dark latex condom, round peppermint candies and a edible flavored warming oil that enhances erotic massage greatly! You never had a more erotic Christmas gift! and the price is right at $10.99! for those lovers on a budget! Better hope they don't find out how cheap U are, otherwise all these goodies would go to waste!

and last but certainly not least...

how about adding a yummy and a fun treat to your holiday party with Gummy Peckers and Gummy Boobs by Pipedream!

These sweeties come in packages of 5.3 oz. Open the package and enjoy the juicy taste of little ballsy peckers or boobies. Share the laugh with your friends, they will remember this tasty and funny treat for a very long time! Our Price: $4.49 (each)

For other novelty items click here. 

Happy Shopping, Bloggers!

This year, Yours Truly, would like to take a moment to invite you to vote for your favorite Drama Queen Blogstream blogger! I am trying to decide what the Queen or King will receive as their prize for being Blogstream's Drama Entertainer of the Year! It doesn't have to necessarily be a "bad" thing ya know? Someone who has put their heart out there in blogland, including showing their butt out there, one whose loved out there (by somebody I'm sure), and more importantly one who is still here, most talked about, and we wished they'd go away, naw, I didn't mean that!

This Year's Drama Queen Award goes to ...

and who gets your vote for this year's Blogstream Drama Queen/King Award 2007? Go ahead and cast your vote by PM, and Yours Truly Queen BS will give it to 'em at the New Years' Rockin' Eve Blogstream party! I don't care who you vote for, my lips are sealed, and time is a runnin' out so get those votes in!

and speaking of Drama Queens~

You are a No Drama Mama!

No need for drama, you just chill out and don't let things bother you You've got a peaceful, zen-like attitude... even when things get crazy You're a pleasure to be around, and you have lots of friends to show for it You don't need to be the center of attention, you're happy enough as is!

I have to tell you guys a somewhat funny story about a toothbrush called the Roto-Dent. Some time ago, I purchased one from my dentist’s office after a routine cleansing as it would be an asset to the whole dental hygienic experience! I love clean teeth and gums!

Anyway, the reason I opted for this rather expensive brush was that first and foremost it had a lifetime warranty, four interchangeable heads, and if anything happened I could get another one from my dentist ... and since I have never really had a mechanical brush, I opted to buy this Roto-Dent to enhance my otherwise boring dental routine!

So, I was in oral heaven until ...

one day my Roto baby just quit rotating ...

Mind you, I have a daughter who has braces at 15 and when she visits she had taken over using my Roto-Dent for her dental pleasures. She loved it, too, using the other two heads that of course, I was NOT using! We love each other but~ hey, we don’t share the same dental brush heads! She hates using the water pik which is the only thing she has at her dad’s so coming here to use my Roto-Dent was something she really looked forward too, and even asked me to buy her one of her own for Christmas! That would be an expensive Christmas present, but I had planned on getting her one because with her dental needs she really could use one.

Okay, allright ... back to the story!

Anyway, I saw my dentist this past week, and I informed her of the plight of my situation with the Roto-Dent! I told them it just quit! and so much for the lifetime warranty I was miffed! and of course I was promptly presented with another one which I was excited about! She told me just to bring the old one back in next time I came which will be in March. So, I bring my new Roto baby home and open it up, and am using it, and I am once again in heaven!

and then I am getting ready to throw the Styrofoam packing in the garbage when I notice that there is something on the back side! It looked like a power cord with a plug-in unit. Yes folks, instead of getting another brush, all I had to do was charge mine up! and of course, the charge hole was on the very end of the handle, who would've seen that?

*insert giggles here*

My daughter and I laughed till we rolled in the floor over this one! I suppose we will giggle about this one forever! and of course, my daughter was in heaven because she got an early Christmas present!

Will I tell my dentist of this most embarrassing find? Heck no! So why am I telling you guys? Good question! My credibility and intelligence is totally shot to hell now, huh? So there you have it folks, I guess a lifetime warranty means nothing without a charge unit! and a brain!

and now a word from our Sponsor!

Okay, lunch break is over, I've brushed my teeth, and back to work I go! Enjoy your day, bloggers!

yeah, yeah, back to the grind! I got nothing for yuns this morning except this joke, (and some funk!) ... but you guys know, this is probably a post in progress, off and on all day long! ha!


A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband,

"I look horrible. I feel fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment."

The husband replies, "Your eyesight is damn near perfect."

He never heard the shot.


so, you gotta joke you wanta tell me? go ahead, make my Monday!


Okay, in all fairness, and to make this a nonsexist Monday, here is my offering to the male blog population ...

A Fairy Tale:

One day, long, long ago, there was this woman who surprisingly, did not whine, nag, and bitch...

But this was a long time ago...

and it was just ONE day.

The End

okay, I'm done! Now back to the regularly scheduled funk!! it's Monday for goodness sakes!