The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
speaking of television, Larry the Cable Guy is having a Holiday Extravaganza Christmas Special on CMT Fri., Nov. 21 and will be hosting a lineup of guest stars including Toby Keith, Terry Bradshaw, Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall, Lewis Black and Blake Shelton, via pre-taped segments.
Also featured in the special, appearing with Larry in sketches are Tony Orlando, Fred Willard (Back to You), NSYNC's Joey Fatone, Ross Mathews (The Tonight Show), ventriloquist Terry Fator, comedians Charlie Callas and Victoria Jackson, Jennifer Aspen (Rodney), Nadine Valazquez (My Name Is Earl) and Angela Little MacKenzie (Reno 911).
In addition to comedy and sketches, the special includes musical performances from artists Montgomery Gentry, Rodney Atkins and Emily West.
His website is funny too as he tells jokes while he's cooking on the grill... to check it out,
click here. I'll definitely being tuning in to the special, will you?
Oh, and before I forget, if you thought you missed Jeff Dunham's Christmas Special on Comedy Central, don't worry cause Comedy Central will be hosting a series of encore repeats on Sun 11/23 at 9p, Thurs Nov 27 at 8p, or Fri 11/28 at 5p. YAY! Just when I sat down to watch it a phone call interrupted, so I'm looking forward to watching it Sunday evening!
and now back to the jokes!!!
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him." Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?
yeah, why didn't they?!
and one more ...
Little Johnny and Susie are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Susie's father to ask him for her hand.
Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Susie are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In Susie's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Susie."
Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance... Susie makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine."
By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to.
After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you.
What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"
Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, we've been lucky so far..."
Have a good day everybody!
